My spiritual Excuse

Do you often hear people stating, 'well Mercury IS in retrograde' as a reason to excuse their negative behavior?  Sadly, working within the paranormal and spiritual community, I hear this surface remark more times than I can shake a stick at.  Mercury in retrograde, what does that even mean?

Many astrologers, spiritualists and yes, even scientific folk, give credence to how the human body reacts when certain planetary frequencies are aligned with the Earth, moon and stars.  Sometimes, just as the Sun's rays and coronas can dramatically effect our world, so too can the subtle shifts of planets in the outer realms of our space. 

I hadn't always noticed these subtle changes until I started keeping a journal that included more than just what I ate and how I felt. I included my meals, my naps, my dreams and even the planetary symbols.  As a linguist, I adore codes and cryptic glyphs, so working with symbols and sigils is a fun past time for me. Soon, the past time became a thin spider's web connecting some interesting symptoms.  I found that when certain moon phases or certain planets were near in orbit, my behavior and emotions changed.  Slight shifts, minuscule deviances from the norm,  and soon I started to see a pattern.

"What more could be included into this interesting frequency worm hole," I thought.  I started to go back into my studies on Fibonacci math, chakra vibrations, binaural beats, EMF and visible light and again, I find my way back to astrology and alchemy.  The big picture is the Universe, space, the planets and their forces upon us.  The smaller picture, is how much you can combat and balance these changes by shifting your mental state with the help of other alchemy tools; gemstones, colors, meditation, tones, environments.

It's no coincidence that you feel better when out in nature and away from the fury of wifi in your brain. When the hum of the city goes away, the pressure of social media melts, your vision focuses on the present and your energy melds into the world around you.  A certain peace is found when you can start to control your inner buzz; another form of safe control.  I have learned that I can exercise, engage in yoga, get out certain crystals or escape to the forest to ease my energized-anxiety, but even still, it doesn't ALWAYS work.

Science, that is the whole point of the scientific method and the enigma of the paranormal; it must work. It must work when you ask, when you repeat the measurements just so, you should be able to predict with a certain level of success. Spirituality, consciousness, the Observer Effect, science... eventually the human demands melt away and the atoms do what they want. THE FORCE lives somewhere in that purgatory of big and quantum worlds, at some point we can gain control and at others, lost it all completely.  I, however, struggle with the concept that it is more based on size than intent. I feel like energy should be about intent...

So, I continue on my journey to ease my anxiety naturally and delve more into what helps me, besides medication.  Lately, the ol' go-tos haven't been doing their jobs. The crystals and grids have forsaken me, the amulets and tailsmens have lost their luster. Instead, I again was left to determine where I lost control and how I could get some form of it back.  Then I realized that a form of control is informed consent.

You see, I've been watching BEHATI life more frequently, as I adore her energy.  She does her inner work on the internet and puts more private spiritual matters out into the open. Her discussions provide an additional perspective to astrology and her belief and power are contagious. Lately, she has been harping on Taurus and the moons; always a theme in my spiritual life.

The May 15 new moon comes under the influence of the notorious fixed star Algol.  - What does this mean? I soon learned that for those with high intuition and empathy, those who feel Earth shifts, those that are Earth signs with psychic connections to grounding, are going to be feeling high levels of anxiety lately due in part to the anger being released by Mother Nature.  The Earth is predicted to spew more lava, build more islands, shake more cities and as Algol is fixed in the Ether, intuitives will be having a clenched feeling in their chest. 

Validation.  My excuse, my reason, my salvation at times.  This all makes sense. No matter how many meditations I try, how many crystals I shine, how many miles I've ran these past few days, I feel on edge. I'm to tears with anxiety, a buzzing all within my body and my hands sweating, shaking, empty.  I don't want to eat, I don't want to do much but get it out and feel better.  I then realize I'm feeling the pain of Mother Earth - like a scene from Fern Gully that now makes too much sense. 

I'm waiting for the sadness to move through me, to channel my own sadness and let it purge through my body and release it back into the world. The Universe knows best, so until the 25th - the next moon phase and release from Algol - I'll remind myself I'm not completely crazy and helpless, I'm connected to a host that needs me to suffer with her.