Dear Santa...
National Santa's List Day? I've never heard of such a thing, but hell, I'll go with it. What will I be asking Santa for this year? Well, in the past, I've always repeated the same mantra that "I'm thankful for the continued happiness and health of my friends and loved ones." However, my friends and loved ones keep dying, losing their jobs, going through tough times... so maybe I should get specific?
Totally thinking this in the narrative of Mr. Schultz (Minnesota is wearing off on me), but I feel as though it is important to mention that I'm a case manager for the mentally ill, clients who are deemed to be 'too disabled to work' or be 'productive citizens' and therefore require management. Many of them are crying, losing it, suicidal even - over the same shit I'm dealing with. I break down often, weekly even, crying to my husband that I feel I must have 'royally fucked up somewhere' to 'have graduated top of my class with a Master's degree and still make minimum wage with no light at the financial debt tunnel in sight... no matter how many jobs, how many hours spend away from my family - it never gets easier.' It is tough. I'm learning more and more that life IS shitty, and shitty things will continue to happen the older you get. You have to mindfully generate, as exhausted as it may make you feel at times, your own happiness.
This past year I had more than four major surgeries when up into my 30's I had only ever had my wisdom teeth taken out and a few micro surgeries for ovarian cancer. Some traumatic issues with minimal scarring and here I was being wheeled into an emergency room when the next day my children needed me, and my husband needed to go to work - no family for hundreds of miles. I was in a panic and my body was unable to do the healing it needed to. Self-care became my mantra and anxiety became my demon.
Santa, this year I want to be free from health issues. I want the energy to generate my own happiness. I want some of the following things on my bucket list to happen and I'm willing to WORK HARD to make it happen.
BUCKET LIST:
Hey you, reading this, able to make something work and want to collaborate? That is how it works - let's do it - MESSAGE ME TODAY to see how we can barter our way to pure bliss. <3
Happy Holidays Santa, I've been decent this year. ;)
Totally thinking this in the narrative of Mr. Schultz (Minnesota is wearing off on me), but I feel as though it is important to mention that I'm a case manager for the mentally ill, clients who are deemed to be 'too disabled to work' or be 'productive citizens' and therefore require management. Many of them are crying, losing it, suicidal even - over the same shit I'm dealing with. I break down often, weekly even, crying to my husband that I feel I must have 'royally fucked up somewhere' to 'have graduated top of my class with a Master's degree and still make minimum wage with no light at the financial debt tunnel in sight... no matter how many jobs, how many hours spend away from my family - it never gets easier.' It is tough. I'm learning more and more that life IS shitty, and shitty things will continue to happen the older you get. You have to mindfully generate, as exhausted as it may make you feel at times, your own happiness.
This past year I had more than four major surgeries when up into my 30's I had only ever had my wisdom teeth taken out and a few micro surgeries for ovarian cancer. Some traumatic issues with minimal scarring and here I was being wheeled into an emergency room when the next day my children needed me, and my husband needed to go to work - no family for hundreds of miles. I was in a panic and my body was unable to do the healing it needed to. Self-care became my mantra and anxiety became my demon.
Santa, this year I want to be free from health issues. I want the energy to generate my own happiness. I want some of the following things on my bucket list to happen and I'm willing to WORK HARD to make it happen.
BUCKET LIST:
- Travel across the Pond to see my in-laws in England
- Visit April Slaughter in Utah for a collaboration and writing workshop
- Have a woman's retreat in New Orleans and incorporate some of my favorite natural healers: Ashley Rowan (Yoga), Lauren Hernandez/Bad Ass (Reiki healing), Maria Boyd (spiritual Poet), April Slaughter (artist-poet), Anna Powell (photographer-graphic designer), Dana Wingerd (occult lecturer)...
- Shoot with Nat Geo, old structures with spiritual relevance or Hippos.
- I want to photograph Chuck Palahniuk, Gordon Ramsay, Joshua Gates and other great artists while doing their craft.
- I want to visit my comedian friends in LA and spend some time doing open mic nights to enhance my stand-up. Christina Lederman, a week with you? Please oh please.
- A camping adventure to hike to the West.
- I want to quit my job as a case manager and buy a food truck - or a food boat - and travel from state to state, doing photography and selling the most amazing tacos you've ever had. Anyone?
- Finish writing a few of my books - I have fantasy, sci-fi, dystonia adventure, thrillers and poems - photography galleries and requests to work on sculpture. I want some help making it happen but TIME?
- No more kidney - gallbladder - eye - ovary issues, please. No more iron issues, no more vision issues, no more pain. I just want health for my family so that I can do some more yoga - document my journey through anxiety and PCOD with no ability to take pain medications.
- Comedy Skit - We have a group of women, a brave idea, fun and hilarious content - looking for a venue to host this unique banter of women doing a live - annon. improv skit.
- Family time.
- New Camera? People are sometimes amazed that I'm shooting with stuff that is more than ten years old. The age ol' saying goes, I'm usually the last to get anything for myself and my husband and I are guilty of always putting our children first. After daycare costs, that means a pint of ice-cream is our treat, not the new Sony or Canon portrait camera that I'm dying to have. :( Santa, let someone sponsor a photo adventure that provides new equipment for the company - please o please?
- A new car. Our car is going out... aren't they always? We need a second car, but honesty - our primary car is always needing hundreds of thousands of dollars in repairs, we can never get ahead. As we house shop - the car issue is becoming a saga. I'm hoping to win the lottery or magically come upon a car fairy. Anyone know a car fairy?
Hey you, reading this, able to make something work and want to collaborate? That is how it works - let's do it - MESSAGE ME TODAY to see how we can barter our way to pure bliss. <3
Happy Holidays Santa, I've been decent this year. ;)
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