National Mother - In - Law Day. I got Lucky with her mostly because...
A Virgo woman is someone with high energy, high hopes, high standards and lots of obsessions. When I activate my "Virgo Powers" I gladly can entertain a crowd of strangers, clean a hoarded house, organize stacks of newspapers and even write a book. When I put my mind to it, there isn't anything I can't accomplish and my Ego reminds me of this. A jack-of-all trades but a Master of none, and sometimes considered a know-it-all when really it's because ANSWERS make me feel safe.
My dad was a man that filled my wounds with magic and my mother's neglect with stories. Lore, myth, fantasy and lies helped me to love my mother and the messenger was my dad. The Movie BIG FISH was almost an epiphany for me to learn how to love my dad again. My mother however, well, she never wanted to put in the effort to forgive herself so she could be a mom. She was so self-destructive that she continued to be neglectful and for me, that meant no mom.
No real mom.
I had a wonderful nanny, my mom's best friend, who jumped in and helped every chance she could. A woman who obsessively loves children, honks her horn at cute construction workers and is a modern witch that makes every room brighter. She wasn't my real mom, but a great substitute.
I also had a step-mom in later years. One that welcomed my teenage defiance with her own stubborn drama and who taught me that real women won't tolerate bullshit. When I threw a temper tantrum, she threw a bigger one and my dad would usually believe her. I learned a hierarchy, a priority, and that marriage trumps all and once I bent to that will - we got along great. That took about eleven years until I was willing to bend.
I also had a great older sister. A woman with a completely different perspective, someone who was bullied, someone who overcame and a woman that used fantasy to cope. Her imagination was her savior and occasionally, she would let me join her on a grand adventure. My sister taught me how to use music, dance, dress-up, role playing, gaming, writing, and reading to escape the horrors of real life. She gave me a ton of tools to feel confident in myself when our real mom was usually putting us down. She helped to even the scale when she could.
When I found the love of my life, I knew I would meet another 'mother' figure and I hoped I could find some way to connect. I didn't have a great mom and I was always scared most of being a mom but yet cherished the role with a sacred reverence. After surviving undergraduate repetition of the Oedipus complex, I knew two like-Virgos might clash right away. I knew I was already over thinking it.
In the past, I had dated boys that loved their mothers fiercely, and vice versa. Mothers who slammed doors in my face, ripped up my notes, told me I wasn't good enough, told me that my mom was a whore, and mothers who publicly shamed me at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Gypsy culture, paranormal interests, denouncing the Baptist church at 13, my mother's reputation, my sisters reputation, my dad's loud cars, the fact I didn't live in Riss Lake or Monticello.
My parents were divorced, little folded letters of how "all witches go to Hell" in my locker (except during Halloween celebrations where I suddenly became 'cool') and rumors of my destined ego seemed to spoil relationships before they ever had a chance. I didn't know what to expect as an adult.
A night out for sushi, sipping cocktails, followed by open windows and late-night conversations. A woman who has survived, overcome, been labeled and who laughed it off. A woman who is a modern witch, a mother of two creative souls, a jack-of-all trades and a woman who genuinely wanted nothing more than her son to find love. I felt like it was a test of my own love, like Atrayu walking through the territory of the Oracles, I loved Brandon but did it show? Could I prove it?
I passed.
Soon we grew to honestly be able to talk to one another and the more I heard her stories, watched her interact with her spouse, her kids, her exes, her grand-kids, her mother - I knew this woman wanted to perpetuate love, sometimes to a fault. How could that be bad? My biggest complaint is that we don't get to see her more and that she is allergic to our cat. She shares her family recipes (except the coveted Bolognaise), dresses in an authentic witch hat for Halloween, celebrates Yule and Christmas and currently writes children's books in the valleys of England. She is magical in every way and I'm so thankful for her presence in our life.
Happy Mother In Law Day Pegge.
My dad was a man that filled my wounds with magic and my mother's neglect with stories. Lore, myth, fantasy and lies helped me to love my mother and the messenger was my dad. The Movie BIG FISH was almost an epiphany for me to learn how to love my dad again. My mother however, well, she never wanted to put in the effort to forgive herself so she could be a mom. She was so self-destructive that she continued to be neglectful and for me, that meant no mom.
No real mom.
I had a wonderful nanny, my mom's best friend, who jumped in and helped every chance she could. A woman who obsessively loves children, honks her horn at cute construction workers and is a modern witch that makes every room brighter. She wasn't my real mom, but a great substitute.
I also had a step-mom in later years. One that welcomed my teenage defiance with her own stubborn drama and who taught me that real women won't tolerate bullshit. When I threw a temper tantrum, she threw a bigger one and my dad would usually believe her. I learned a hierarchy, a priority, and that marriage trumps all and once I bent to that will - we got along great. That took about eleven years until I was willing to bend.
I also had a great older sister. A woman with a completely different perspective, someone who was bullied, someone who overcame and a woman that used fantasy to cope. Her imagination was her savior and occasionally, she would let me join her on a grand adventure. My sister taught me how to use music, dance, dress-up, role playing, gaming, writing, and reading to escape the horrors of real life. She gave me a ton of tools to feel confident in myself when our real mom was usually putting us down. She helped to even the scale when she could.
When I found the love of my life, I knew I would meet another 'mother' figure and I hoped I could find some way to connect. I didn't have a great mom and I was always scared most of being a mom but yet cherished the role with a sacred reverence. After surviving undergraduate repetition of the Oedipus complex, I knew two like-Virgos might clash right away. I knew I was already over thinking it.
In the past, I had dated boys that loved their mothers fiercely, and vice versa. Mothers who slammed doors in my face, ripped up my notes, told me I wasn't good enough, told me that my mom was a whore, and mothers who publicly shamed me at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Gypsy culture, paranormal interests, denouncing the Baptist church at 13, my mother's reputation, my sisters reputation, my dad's loud cars, the fact I didn't live in Riss Lake or Monticello.
My parents were divorced, little folded letters of how "all witches go to Hell" in my locker (except during Halloween celebrations where I suddenly became 'cool') and rumors of my destined ego seemed to spoil relationships before they ever had a chance. I didn't know what to expect as an adult.
A night out for sushi, sipping cocktails, followed by open windows and late-night conversations. A woman who has survived, overcome, been labeled and who laughed it off. A woman who is a modern witch, a mother of two creative souls, a jack-of-all trades and a woman who genuinely wanted nothing more than her son to find love. I felt like it was a test of my own love, like Atrayu walking through the territory of the Oracles, I loved Brandon but did it show? Could I prove it?
I passed.
Soon we grew to honestly be able to talk to one another and the more I heard her stories, watched her interact with her spouse, her kids, her exes, her grand-kids, her mother - I knew this woman wanted to perpetuate love, sometimes to a fault. How could that be bad? My biggest complaint is that we don't get to see her more and that she is allergic to our cat. She shares her family recipes (except the coveted Bolognaise), dresses in an authentic witch hat for Halloween, celebrates Yule and Christmas and currently writes children's books in the valleys of England. She is magical in every way and I'm so thankful for her presence in our life.
Happy Mother In Law Day Pegge.
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