National Sisterhood and Friendship Day : A day of celebration.
I have one sister, Cat Wilder, though she goes by many names. We've been through a lot together and though many would confess that we hated each other for most of our childhood years, we've grown quite fond of each other. We might annoy one another, get under the only last nerve, but we know our roots come from the same place and sometimes we're haunted by the same things. Good memories, inside jokes, dark nights, family stories and understanding the source of all your influence. My sister, eight years older than I, had a huge influence on me growing up as a young woman. Especially in the absence of a mother who was ridden with addiction. My sister was my step-mom, my friend, my mentor and so her trials were mine. As much as she hated me stealing her stuff, she was my role model and only example outside of my mother and nanny Connie, so I chose to follow her path; the less resistance.
Depression, struggles with self-love, accepting compliments, impossible standards, a love/hate for music, haunting sarcasm from our mother that never leaves our ears. A distant father who is hard to reach but who wrote love letters and cartoons only to us, on the top of our doughnut box. He wasn't as absent as HER. So, Cas-meister was my nemesis and best friend, my sister. Her explorations into the Supernatural were my torchlight into the unknown and her love of books and writing is what fueled my confidence when critics seemed so loud. When I try to forget who I am, she reminds me of the good stuff, the chocolate cookies waiting in the freezer when dinner didn't make it to the table.
I think sisterhood is more than stealing each others' clothes, reading secret diaries, hiding her coveted items under MY bed just to piss her off. Sisterhood is talking, listening and understanding what it is to be a woman. To discuss objectification, hurt, love, rape, sex, empathy, intuition, empowering thoughts of what it means to be a 'smart woman', 'sexy woman', 'prideful woman', a 'witch'. Growing into a crone, a strong woman who can harness her power, takes a lot of learning from others. Sisters from birth and those we choose, our friends and sisters through village.
These women we choose, we can detox and bind, deter, misguide, use, abuse, and through our trials of adolescence we learn to befriend. As young women, we keep our friends close and our enemies closer and drama of the female role seeps into our distrust for others and ourselves. Hopefully we allow this phase to pass and we find true women who love us, completely, without judgement. Women who will confess that they too spank their children, steal the Halloween candy, skip a workout and pour their own water bottle down their backs to emulate sweat. Women who will laugh with you, keep your secrets, tell you your stretch marks are indeed beautiful and not nearly as gnarly as hers and who will be able to pick you up tampons and soup on a bad day. Women who know each other, uplift one another, complete and guide one another - sisters in life.
These relationships are important, more than we know until we don't have them. The void of this woman, this sisterhood, creates a loneliness and loss that as a woman is hard to overcome alone. Let go of the go, pride, fear and trust another woman with your burdens of what is means to BE A WOMAN.
Depression, struggles with self-love, accepting compliments, impossible standards, a love/hate for music, haunting sarcasm from our mother that never leaves our ears. A distant father who is hard to reach but who wrote love letters and cartoons only to us, on the top of our doughnut box. He wasn't as absent as HER. So, Cas-meister was my nemesis and best friend, my sister. Her explorations into the Supernatural were my torchlight into the unknown and her love of books and writing is what fueled my confidence when critics seemed so loud. When I try to forget who I am, she reminds me of the good stuff, the chocolate cookies waiting in the freezer when dinner didn't make it to the table.
I think sisterhood is more than stealing each others' clothes, reading secret diaries, hiding her coveted items under MY bed just to piss her off. Sisterhood is talking, listening and understanding what it is to be a woman. To discuss objectification, hurt, love, rape, sex, empathy, intuition, empowering thoughts of what it means to be a 'smart woman', 'sexy woman', 'prideful woman', a 'witch'. Growing into a crone, a strong woman who can harness her power, takes a lot of learning from others. Sisters from birth and those we choose, our friends and sisters through village.
These women we choose, we can detox and bind, deter, misguide, use, abuse, and through our trials of adolescence we learn to befriend. As young women, we keep our friends close and our enemies closer and drama of the female role seeps into our distrust for others and ourselves. Hopefully we allow this phase to pass and we find true women who love us, completely, without judgement. Women who will confess that they too spank their children, steal the Halloween candy, skip a workout and pour their own water bottle down their backs to emulate sweat. Women who will laugh with you, keep your secrets, tell you your stretch marks are indeed beautiful and not nearly as gnarly as hers and who will be able to pick you up tampons and soup on a bad day. Women who know each other, uplift one another, complete and guide one another - sisters in life.
These relationships are important, more than we know until we don't have them. The void of this woman, this sisterhood, creates a loneliness and loss that as a woman is hard to overcome alone. Let go of the go, pride, fear and trust another woman with your burdens of what is means to BE A WOMAN.
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