Manifestation: The Simple way it works
As a psychologist, skeptic, Virgo-perfectionist, and someone with really high standards for self, I found it hard to believe that the path to clarity could be simple. I was raised by a hard-working, blue-collar man that was a Bible-thumper and lived by the motto that, "The Right Road is rarely the Easy Road."
I have been raised to believe that it SHOULD be an uphill battle and this unconscious message almost helped to motivate and feed my anxiety, anger and self-destructive behaviors at times. When my anxiety was so bad that daily episodes had me going to the ER in fear I was dehydrating to death, having seizures or heart attacks. I was on pills, SSRI's, Ashwagandha, St. John's Wart and had already sworn off dairy, sugar, caffeine and tobacco. My world was collapsing mentally and I finally gave up = I changed my standard and accepted HELP.
I admitted, Let Go, released the responsibility that I had done something wrong to get here and that I was fat, depressed, sluggish, angry, unhealthy and sick. I hated myself and I couldn't find creativity or patience within myself and finding self-love seemed like centuries from reality. I was in a dark place and admitted to my husband that something had to change. I turned to meditation and faith - in self.
Daily yoga. Getting out of bed (puking on the way out the door) and walked outside in the fresh air while everyone else slept. When the thoughts of worry, concern, my husband dying, me getting fatter, my kids getting sick, am I doing this right, what next, what if, all the debt.... my thoughts and negative snowball that usually overwhelms me would hit me head on. I would feel it pressing in my heart, my breath getting shorter, the anxiety moving over me - but I would turn up the volume on my music or self-help affirmations track. I would pick up the pace and push myself - I would call out to the anxiety, "I see you coming, I know you're here and now I'm using you to change - C'mon!"
I ran. I cried. I sweat. I became addicted. I started finding (and fearing a bit) the old gym-rat habits. Once, in my adolescence, I was an amateur boxer, model and professional cheerleader. I had a part-time job at the gym I attended more than twice a day and I became addicted to the GYM life. I wore sweat suites, I puked up food if I needed to lose a few more pounds, I waited for Flax Seed-Fish Oil and my supplements to go on sale and protein was on my mind constantly. I wasn't healthy then - but now I could pick up that experience and use it. I didn't need to fear being an old version of myself that could take control. I am a wife, mother, friend, wiser woman now.
So, you take the plunge and walk THROUGH the fear. You let the thoughts sail in, you even allow yourself to think about them, then you let it out. Channeling through song, dance, talking, narrative, journals, or just blogging like this. Reading, writing, pondering the thoughts I would usually push aside. Grief, regret, fear, self-loathing, negativity I was too afraid would be too much if I thought about it. Instead I had faith in myself and found an inner strength. I would think, "I can't do anything anymore. My body is so sick...." and then I would interrupt myself and say, "that changes today when I practice ...."
Taking a photo, posing for the shot, seeing my own posture in a photo, all those late night comparisons of myself against beautiful yoga women on Pinterest; I could see myself in the photo. I started to think more about myself, how to be strong, how to cope in a healthy way - and somehow I became FIRST again.
When this happened, I let go of the guilt that I was first. I logically spoke out-loud about self-help and how one must put their own oxygen mask on first. I would compliment myself, others, allow the negative thoughts to pass and only speak positive replies. I started to hate myself less and love myself more. More people wanted to be near me. More people wanted to collaborate.
As I helped myself, the snowball started to change - it was still moving, but rather than appearing as a high-action scene from Willow it was almost a fun ride from SURFS UP. The feeling changes from fear to excitement. Positive things start to consume you, surround you, thrive around you, gravitate towards you and soon it doesn't take as much effort to notice - feel - believe that things can get better. They are better.
Validation is everywhere. Perception is key. It's that simple. Complex process but simple to do - change only takes intent. Let go and trust - Enjoy the Adventure.
I have been raised to believe that it SHOULD be an uphill battle and this unconscious message almost helped to motivate and feed my anxiety, anger and self-destructive behaviors at times. When my anxiety was so bad that daily episodes had me going to the ER in fear I was dehydrating to death, having seizures or heart attacks. I was on pills, SSRI's, Ashwagandha, St. John's Wart and had already sworn off dairy, sugar, caffeine and tobacco. My world was collapsing mentally and I finally gave up = I changed my standard and accepted HELP.
I admitted, Let Go, released the responsibility that I had done something wrong to get here and that I was fat, depressed, sluggish, angry, unhealthy and sick. I hated myself and I couldn't find creativity or patience within myself and finding self-love seemed like centuries from reality. I was in a dark place and admitted to my husband that something had to change. I turned to meditation and faith - in self.
Daily yoga. Getting out of bed (puking on the way out the door) and walked outside in the fresh air while everyone else slept. When the thoughts of worry, concern, my husband dying, me getting fatter, my kids getting sick, am I doing this right, what next, what if, all the debt.... my thoughts and negative snowball that usually overwhelms me would hit me head on. I would feel it pressing in my heart, my breath getting shorter, the anxiety moving over me - but I would turn up the volume on my music or self-help affirmations track. I would pick up the pace and push myself - I would call out to the anxiety, "I see you coming, I know you're here and now I'm using you to change - C'mon!"
I ran. I cried. I sweat. I became addicted. I started finding (and fearing a bit) the old gym-rat habits. Once, in my adolescence, I was an amateur boxer, model and professional cheerleader. I had a part-time job at the gym I attended more than twice a day and I became addicted to the GYM life. I wore sweat suites, I puked up food if I needed to lose a few more pounds, I waited for Flax Seed-Fish Oil and my supplements to go on sale and protein was on my mind constantly. I wasn't healthy then - but now I could pick up that experience and use it. I didn't need to fear being an old version of myself that could take control. I am a wife, mother, friend, wiser woman now.
So, you take the plunge and walk THROUGH the fear. You let the thoughts sail in, you even allow yourself to think about them, then you let it out. Channeling through song, dance, talking, narrative, journals, or just blogging like this. Reading, writing, pondering the thoughts I would usually push aside. Grief, regret, fear, self-loathing, negativity I was too afraid would be too much if I thought about it. Instead I had faith in myself and found an inner strength. I would think, "I can't do anything anymore. My body is so sick...." and then I would interrupt myself and say, "that changes today when I practice ...."
Taking a photo, posing for the shot, seeing my own posture in a photo, all those late night comparisons of myself against beautiful yoga women on Pinterest; I could see myself in the photo. I started to think more about myself, how to be strong, how to cope in a healthy way - and somehow I became FIRST again.
When this happened, I let go of the guilt that I was first. I logically spoke out-loud about self-help and how one must put their own oxygen mask on first. I would compliment myself, others, allow the negative thoughts to pass and only speak positive replies. I started to hate myself less and love myself more. More people wanted to be near me. More people wanted to collaborate.
Becomes
As I helped myself, the snowball started to change - it was still moving, but rather than appearing as a high-action scene from Willow it was almost a fun ride from SURFS UP. The feeling changes from fear to excitement. Positive things start to consume you, surround you, thrive around you, gravitate towards you and soon it doesn't take as much effort to notice - feel - believe that things can get better. They are better.
Validation is everywhere. Perception is key. It's that simple. Complex process but simple to do - change only takes intent. Let go and trust - Enjoy the Adventure.
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